Off Topic Messages

Re: Taking A Leave Of Absence....

Tue Mar 19, 2013 3:48 pm

Rob wrote:You know what? I am so over it! I, too, am taking a leave of absence from this forum! All of you jackmunches can kiss it. Do not try to stop me!!

I'm out of here for at least two hours and I'll not be back one minute early!



My money says Rob will be back in two eye blinks & a hop scotch. He's that kind of a person.

Re: Taking A Leave Of Absence....

Tue Mar 19, 2013 3:49 pm

ian wrote:Are jackmunches a new sandwich at Jack in the Box :?: :smt031


Those sandwiches used to be called "knob gobblers".

Re: Taking A Leave Of Absence....

Tue Mar 19, 2013 4:31 pm

rjm wrote:
With all due respect, pmp, when someone is feeling trapped and alone, PLEASE don't ask them to apologize! You have problems, I have problems, Tony has problems. They are DIFFERENT problems!

First of all, you are accusing him of deleting his thread. Not only do you not know that, but I believe you to be wrong regarding that. I know he could have come back to deny it, but maybe he feels, as he said above, like people don't like him. If you feel that, you feel all alone. Cool it, please. I know you mean well. He's doing the best he can right now. This is not about a book: it's about a really difficult situation. He needs some good friends, and to be able to trust them, even when they're not in a good mood, or even if they don't even think you like them! Even if you do. A good friend can punch you in frustration, and that has little to do with you, and if you're their friend, well -- it doesn't matter. "Tough Love" is B S. and always was. It's psychobabble. And is very popular. And dangerous.

All we can be for anyone else here is to be here as a friend. We just don't know enough to offer advice, or to be offended when someone reaches out for an ear. A friendly ear.

rjm




With all due respect , I wrote a lengthy post to Tony in his thread about the book, giving a detailed account based on my own experiences and where the buying of those books such as these could lead to, and the dangers of comfort spending. It was nothing to do with being a keyboard warrior or tough love - it was advice that was based on personal experience of doing just that when I was ill. That's called being a friend - learn from my mistakes. I didn't have to air my history in a public place, but going by the messages I received afterwards from others, I wasn't the only one who thought doing so would help Tony see his own situation clearer. That's called being a friend, not kissing him on the forehead and telling him everything's going to get better. What's more, I spent part of that thread defending Tony:

Garfield/BR: That might be somewhat unfair. While I know my post on this subject was somewhat "blunt" about Tony's issue, sometimes it's much easier to see sense if you are not directly involved in the problem yourself. While we can see what is going on here, and his Mum's side of the story, Tony is in that story and it's hard to see the wood from the trees sometimes.

I confess I don't know a great deal about Tony - and for the most part I don't get involved in personal stories on here - but it's clear he's going through a rough patch at the moment. Bearing that in mind, poking fun or insinuating that Tony is/was aware of his apparent selfishness is pushing the bluntness of the thread a little too far, I think. I think the bluntness of the responses was the right thing for us to do - sometimes a wake up call needs to come in the form of bluntness - but this isn't the place for sarcasm I think or poking fun.


Of course, RJM, if you could see my original posts (this one only exists because it was copied into a private message), then you would perhaps be able to comment on them - at the moment you can't and therefore your above post is way out of line (as are a number of your posts in recent weeks which also seem to be a stream of consciousness rant!)
Last edited by poormadpeter on Tue Mar 19, 2013 4:49 pm, edited 3 times in total.

Re: Taking A Leave Of Absence....

Tue Mar 19, 2013 4:33 pm

poormadpeter wrote:
keninlincs wrote:
rjm wrote:
poormadpeter wrote:
Tony Trout wrote:
Tony Trout wrote:[i]I'm getting out of here for a while...I've caused alot of arguments and fighting around here lately (of my own accord) that I didn't want to start...I might be back...I don't know...I just know I need to get away from all this for a while...

quote]

With all due respect, pmp, when someone is feeling trapped and alone, PLEASE don't ask them to apologize! You have problems, I have problems, Tony has problems. They are DIFFERENT problems!

First of all, you are accusing him of deleting his thread. Not only do you not know that, but I believe you to be wrong regarding that. I know he could have come back to deny it, but maybe he feels, as he said above, like people don't like him. If you feel that, you feel all alone. Cool it, please. I know you mean well. He's doing the best he can right now. This is not about a book: it's about a really difficult situation. He needs some good friends, and to be able to trust them, even when they're not in a good mood, or even if they don't even think you like them! Even if you do. A good friend can punch you in frustration, and that has little to do with you, and if you're their friend, well -- it doesn't matter. "Tough Love" is B S. and always was. It's psychobabble. And is very popular. And dangerous.

All we can be for anyone else here is to be here as a friend. We just don't know enough to offer advice, or to be offended when someone reaches out for an ear. A friendly ear.

rjm


Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I317 using Tapatalk 2

Unfortunately there are a lot of keyboard warriors here lately.they just need adding to the FOE list and FECC is a better place without reading their typed drivel


With all due respect to both of you, I wrote a lengthy post to Tony in his thread about the book, giving a detailed account based on my own experiences and where the buying of those books such as these could lead to, and the dangers of comfort spending. It was nothing to do with being a keyboard warrior or tough love - it was advice that was based on personal experience of doing just that when I was ill. That's called being a friend - learn from my mistakes. I didn't have to air my history in a public place, but going by the messages I received afterwards from others, I wasn't the only one who thought doing so would help Tony see his own situation clearer. That's called being a friend, not kissing him on the forehead and telling him everything's going to get better.

Wasnt talking about you Peter

Re: Taking A Leave Of Absence....

Tue Mar 19, 2013 4:42 pm

keninlincs wrote:
poormadpeter wrote:
keninlincs wrote:
rjm wrote:
poormadpeter wrote:
Tony Trout wrote:
Tony Trout wrote:[i]I'm getting out of here for a while...I've caused alot of arguments and fighting around here lately (of my own accord) that I didn't want to start...I might be back...I don't know...I just know I need to get away from all this for a while...

quote]

With all due respect, pmp, when someone is feeling trapped and alone, PLEASE don't ask them to apologize! You have problems, I have problems, Tony has problems. They are DIFFERENT problems!

First of all, you are accusing him of deleting his thread. Not only do you not know that, but I believe you to be wrong regarding that. I know he could have come back to deny it, but maybe he feels, as he said above, like people don't like him. If you feel that, you feel all alone. Cool it, please. I know you mean well. He's doing the best he can right now. This is not about a book: it's about a really difficult situation. He needs some good friends, and to be able to trust them, even when they're not in a good mood, or even if they don't even think you like them! Even if you do. A good friend can punch you in frustration, and that has little to do with you, and if you're their friend, well -- it doesn't matter. "Tough Love" is B S. and always was. It's psychobabble. And is very popular. And dangerous.

All we can be for anyone else here is to be here as a friend. We just don't know enough to offer advice, or to be offended when someone reaches out for an ear. A friendly ear.

rjm


Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I317 using Tapatalk 2

Unfortunately there are a lot of keyboard warriors here lately.they just need adding to the FOE list and FECC is a better place without reading their typed drivel


With all due respect to both of you, I wrote a lengthy post to Tony in his thread about the book, giving a detailed account based on my own experiences and where the buying of those books such as these could lead to, and the dangers of comfort spending. It was nothing to do with being a keyboard warrior or tough love - it was advice that was based on personal experience of doing just that when I was ill. That's called being a friend - learn from my mistakes. I didn't have to air my history in a public place, but going by the messages I received afterwards from others, I wasn't the only one who thought doing so would help Tony see his own situation clearer. That's called being a friend, not kissing him on the forehead and telling him everything's going to get better.

Wasnt talking about you Peter


Sorry, Ken, my apologies. Misunderstanding - will change the post. :)

Re: Taking A Leave Of Absence....

Tue Mar 19, 2013 7:26 pm

Sadly, I didn't get to read PMP's post in that other thread which Blue River had mentioned, but from comments, it sounds like PMP got it just right.

It also sounds like that, while Tony spoke favourably of two people from that thread, he didn't mention the others such as PMP who, I gather were there too for Tony. Understandably, PMP seemed a little put out by this, especially as Tony said that he only appreciated what those two people has contributed in the thread.

And Tony has publicly asked for threads to be deleted in the past, so it is reasonable to assume he might well have felt the same way again and he wanted to remove that particular thread.

I believe that PMP, more than perhaps most people, knows how bad life can feel for a person. He doesn't deserve any critcism for what he had said in that thread - he did alright.

Re: Taking A Leave Of Absence....

Tue Mar 19, 2013 7:59 pm

Suds wrote:Sadly, I didn't get to read PMP's post in that other thread which Blue River had mentioned, but from comments, it sounds like PMP got it just right.

It also sounds like that, while Tony spoke favourably of two people from that thread, he didn't mention the others such as PMP who, I gather were there too for Tony. Understandably, PMP seemed a little put out by this, especially as Tony said that he only appreciated what those two people has contributed in the thread.

And Tony has publicly asked for threads to be deleted in the past, so it is reasonable to assume he might well have felt the same way again and he wanted to remove that particular thread.

I believe that PMP, more than perhaps most people, knows how bad life can feel for a person. He doesn't deserve any critcism for what he had said in that thread - he did alright.


Thanks. It's not that Tony didn't reply etc, it's the fact that he wrote the following, which was basically a kick in the teeth to everyone who replied:

a so-called "great fan" like myself doesn't deserve the treatment I've gotten as of late from people like the ones that posted in the most recent thread (except for "Blue River" & "rjm" - I do treasure the friendship that he, she & I share mostly because of our beliefs).


The issue was that Tony did not get abused in that thread or treated badly, he simply didn't hear what he wanted to hear. And that, frankly, is hard luck. People were honest without being brutal and many people made sensible, thoughtful comments. Hence my comment earlier about Tony digging himself a huge hole and needing to give some apologies.

Re: Taking A Leave Of Absence....

Tue Mar 19, 2013 8:10 pm

poormadpeter wrote:The issue was that Tony did not get abused in that thread or treated badly, he simply didn't hear what he wanted to hear. And that, frankly, is hard luck. People were honest without being brutal and many people made sensible, thoughtful comments. Hence my comment earlier about Tony digging himself a huge hole and needing to give some apologies.



I agree, some of us were beyond sincere, including myself, but how much more can we bend our backs for Tony Trout ??... Not only that, he airs his personal dirty laundry all over the "All Elvis" section as if he wanted the attention just to make himself proud. As brutal as this may sound, I think one's personal problems should be kept confidential and not spilled out all over this forum, making everyone here feel like a bad guy for his/her personal enjoyment.

Re: Taking A Leave Of Absence....

Tue Mar 19, 2013 8:30 pm

TCB-FAN wrote:
poormadpeter wrote:The issue was that Tony did not get abused in that thread or treated badly, he simply didn't hear what he wanted to hear. And that, frankly, is hard luck. People were honest without being brutal and many people made sensible, thoughtful comments. Hence my comment earlier about Tony digging himself a huge hole and needing to give some apologies.



I agree, some of us were beyond sincere, including myself, but how much more can we bend our backs for Tony Trout ??... Not only that, he airs his personal dirty laundry all over the "All Elvis" section as if he wanted the attention just to make himself proud. As brutal as this may sound, I think one's personal problems should be kept confidential and not spilled out all over this forum, making everyone here feel like a bad guy for his/her personal enjoyment.


I'm not sure about that - it depends how well you associate with people outside of the internet, I guess. I've no problem with people airing their issues on the boards (I agree, in the right place), but the problem is if people don't like the advice they are given.

Re: Taking A Leave Of Absence....

Tue Mar 19, 2013 8:34 pm

TCB-FAN wrote:
poormadpeter wrote:The issue was that Tony did not get abused in that thread or treated badly, he simply didn't hear what he wanted to hear. And that, frankly, is hard luck. People were honest without being brutal and many people made sensible, thoughtful comments. Hence my comment earlier about Tony digging himself a huge hole and needing to give some apologies.



I agree, some of us were beyond sincere, including myself, but how much more can we bend our backs for Tony Trout ??... Not only that, he airs his personal dirty laundry all over the "All Elvis" section as if he wanted the attention just to make himself proud. As brutal as this may sound, I think one's personal problems should be kept confidential and not spilled out all over this forum, making everyone here feel like a bad guy for his/her personal enjoyment.


Well said !!
The moment Tony Trout make's his problems public, people will comment on it.
I think he needs more than just a listening ear and some comfort. He spills his problems already for a long time here on the board.....his ex girlfriend, his mom, his disability, his problems with porn addiction etc. etc.
By making his problems public, he will get understanding from people here but also comments that he will not like.
IIRC, Tony got got alot of support over the years from alot of people.
In my opinion he should have PM'd the people he considers his friends......to avoid hurt feelings etc.
Anyway....again Tony, good luck to you.

Re: Taking A Leave Of Absence....

Wed Mar 20, 2013 1:44 am

a so-called "great fan" like myself doesn't deserve the treatment I've gotten as of late from people like the ones that posted in the most recent thread (except for "Blue River" & "rjm" - I do treasure the friendship that he, she & I share mostly because of our beliefs).


The issue was that Tony did not get abused in that thread or treated badly, he simply didn't hear what he wanted to hear. And that, frankly, is hard luck. People were honest without being brutal and many people made sensible, thoughtful comments. Hence my comment earlier about Tony digging himself a huge hole and needing to give some apologies.[/quote]


Exactly, All I did was to suggest that he carried on collecting but did so within his means and that instead of spending $300 on two books he might be wiser to seek out less expensive alternative books that would fulfil his need for info/pictures of both the aloha shows and jumpsuits in general, And that he should enjoy what he already has, I was trying to give helpful and practical advice which I really don't see how anyone could take as being treat badly by being offered it, I also explained about how being made redundant had changed my priorities and how I myself would love to be able to collect as I used to do but circumstances change and you can`t have everything you want so I concentrate more on what I already have and only buy the things I can afford, If that wasn`t the kind of thing he wanted to hear then I think he needs to turn to himself for answers and not ask for our opinions or advice.

Alan.

Re: Taking A Leave Of Absence....

Wed Mar 20, 2013 3:38 am

Tony, with all due respect, my friend you been carrying on like a little boy whose been banned from dessert by a Parent. Peter, TCB and others (not including myself) responded in your deleted topic, with the best of intentions and you pretty much insulted them all with your response in your third post to this thread. Not nice.
As for your Lady walking out on you, all I can say is that she probably didn't deserve you in the first place. Those were very selfish remarks she had said to your face about your disability. You can do (and find) better. Tony have you thought about maybe joining an online depression group and sharing your experiences ? You never know, it could lead to finding a soulmate. Finally forget Elvis books and purchasing FTD's for awhile. You have more important things going on in your life at present.

Re: Taking A Leave Of Absence....

Wed Mar 20, 2013 4:01 am

I didn't see many bad comments on your situation Tony only some sound advice especially from poormadpeter.I sincerely hope you can work your problems out and return soon.You do have friends on here and you will be missed.

norrie

Re: Taking A Leave Of Absence....

Wed Mar 20, 2013 6:48 am

X

I think this has been cleared up.

Peace.

rjm
Last edited by rjm on Wed Mar 20, 2013 11:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Re: Taking A Leave Of Absence....

Wed Mar 20, 2013 7:28 am

.
Last edited by rjm on Wed Mar 20, 2013 8:36 am, edited 1 time in total.

Re: Taking A Leave Of Absence....

Wed Mar 20, 2013 7:56 am

. Never mind.
Last edited by rjm on Wed Mar 20, 2013 11:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Re: Taking A Leave Of Absence....

Wed Mar 20, 2013 1:02 pm

rjm wrote:Great post, Brian. I'm sad to learn about your hearing. I guess you can't hear stereo.

But. Beethoven was completely deaf. Music is amazing that way. Thanks for sharing.

rjm


rjm - Thank you. It's cool - I don't worry too much about it or let it get me down.

Besides - there are too many much better things to worry about - like when Elvis: The Complete On Tour Outtakes (and other releases) arrive in my mailbox. :smt026 :smt026

Re: Taking A Leave Of Absence....

Wed Mar 20, 2013 3:32 pm

rjm wrote:I am just going to be a coward, and stay out of everything.

And that goes for everybody! What the heck are you trying to to imply? I'm really upset!

I don't have to get kicked around for trying to "referee" things to help anyone.

I have been as kind to you, pmp, as to anyone. So the heck with it!

rjm (And the only "beliefs" I share with Blue River is that I dig Elvis! When you come back, Tony, I hope that is clarified! Not for pmp, since he has chosen to believe the worst of me, that I would express prejudice in private (!!!!!!!), but for everybody else. And I WILL ask Tony why he said that. Because I do not share "beliefs" with Blue River - not regarding politics or religion, anyway, and never said such to anyone, at any time!!)


Oh for goodness sake, RJM, I don't give a toss about BR's or your beliefs; this thread and the previous ones have nothing to do with that at all. I'm not even sure beliefs were mentioned. And yes, you sent me a private message - but you also made a public one. One that accused me of not understanding Tony's situation,. of giving "Tough Love", which you called BS, asking me to "cool it", that we should listen to his problems but not give advice...and so on. If you didn't want me to comment on that, then you should have deleted it. I find it totally ironic that in your private message you tell me that I'm not a counsellor and shouldn't be giving advice, and at the same time you feel qualified enough in that area to claim that tough love (which I wasn't giving anyway!) is bullsh*t! As you say neither of us are qualified, how exactly do you know?

While yes, we have had a number of very pleasant exchanges over the years, this is a clear example of you reading into a post something you want to read rather than what is actually there (eg. beliefs - what does that have to do with this or the previous thread!) - and then sitting down and responding to that in a long, convuluted stream of consciousness post that either comes across as lecturing or a rant. See the two posts you have given above. If people feel you are shouting at them for ten minutes when they read what you have written, then they will respond accordingly. Did you actually read my response to you, and why I was angry at your comments towards me? Or did you just jump on the last line and start typing (seemingly with steam coming out of your ears as you did so?) Everyone else seemed to understand what I was saying in that and my other posts!

Once again, you have left two rather bizarre, repetitive posts on the board to me, and then a quiet civil private message as well. But the rants are still here and are still public. So which am I likely to respond to?

Re: Taking A Leave Of Absence....

Wed Mar 20, 2013 6:10 pm

If you routinely share your problems and feelings as a way of ‘venting’, but take no steps toward solving your own dilemmas, let’s face it: some will just stop giving advice and some will tell you know how they feel.

People give advice for many reasons, some of which are well intentioned, others less so. I'd say in Tony's case, almost all were well intentioned and it showed how many friends wanted to help Tony. Let's not forget about this, they wanted to help.

Hearing a lot of advice can be an overwhelming experience but I thought poormadpeter sharing his personal situation was outstanding and deserves a lot of credit. At least a "thank you" for acknowledging his effort, and appreciating his thoughtfulness. I'm going through some rough times and his comments allowed me to rethink, refocus my situation and helped me be honest with myself. At first, I didn't want to accept it but it was the truth. I sent him a pm thanking him and wanted to let him know, how much his thoughtfulness was appreciated.

Re: Taking A Leave Of Absence....

Wed Mar 20, 2013 8:03 pm

rjm wrote:My beliefs are VERY different than Blue River's!! ...
How is that out of line? I'm sure Blue River was just as surprised as me to learn of our 'shared' beliefs!!! I don't know what he meant, but did you take that personally? I would resent that! Deeply!

rjm wrote: (And the only "beliefs" I share with Blue River is that I dig Elvis! ...
I do not share "beliefs" with Blue River - not regarding politics or religion, anyway, and never said such to anyone, at any time!!)

:shock: Wait a minute! How in the heck did I get in the middle of all this?!
All I did was post that I hope Tony read Chad Gates and poormadpeter's well-meaning posts before the thread got deleted. smt179

Geeezz... :facep:

Ahh, the drama. :roll: Everyone, please take a smt142
Last edited by Blue River on Wed Mar 20, 2013 8:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Re: Taking A Leave Of Absence....

Wed Mar 20, 2013 8:10 pm

We do take things a little too seriously around here, don't we?

I think it's amusing.

Re: Taking A Leave Of Absence....

Wed Mar 20, 2013 9:28 pm

Rob wrote:We do take things a little too seriously around here, don't we?

I think it's amusing.



Really Rob ? :wtf:

Re: Taking A Leave Of Absence....

Wed Mar 20, 2013 11:38 pm

Blue River wrote:
rjm wrote:My beliefs are VERY different than Blue River's!! ...
How is that out of line? I'm sure Blue River was just as surprised as me to learn of our 'shared' beliefs!!! I don't know what he meant, but did you take that personally? I would resent that! Deeply!

rjm wrote: (And the only "beliefs" I share with Blue River is that I dig Elvis! ...
I do not share "beliefs" with Blue River - not regarding politics or religion, anyway, and never said such to anyone, at any time!!)

:shock: Wait a minute! How in the heck did I get in the middle of all this?!
All I did was post that I hope Tony read Chad Gates and poormadpeter's well-meaning posts before the thread got deleted. smt179

Geeezz... :facep:

Ahh, the drama. :roll: Everyone, please take a smt142


I did not intend for you to be in the middle of this, 'cause I didn't say it! I said you'd be just as surprised as me.

He told me he only meant that we both believe in God. I asked him on Facebook. Which is true; I do. Just, we look at such matters quite differently. I just wanted it clear that I said nothing in private that was different than what I have said in public. Because Tony misspoke about our "beliefs," I was afraid people would think I was a phony. It's all good now.

I'm a little sensitive, you know? ;)

rjm (the chill pill is working well! No side effects. ;) )

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I317 using Tapatalk 2

Re: Taking A Leave Of Absence....

Wed Mar 20, 2013 11:51 pm

poormadpeter wrote:
rjm wrote:I am just going to be a coward, and stay out of everything.

And that goes for everybody! What the heck are you trying to to imply? I'm really upset!

I don't have to get kicked around for trying to "referee" things to help anyone.

I have been as kind to you, pmp, as to anyone. So the heck with it!

rjm (And the only "beliefs" I share with Blue River is that I dig Elvis! When you come back, Tony, I hope that is clarified! Not for pmp, since he has chosen to believe the worst of me, that I would express prejudice in private (!!!!!!!), but for everybody else. And I WILL ask Tony why he said that. Because I do not share "beliefs" with Blue River - not regarding politics or religion, anyway, and never said such to anyone, at any time!!)


Oh for goodness sake, RJM, I don't give a toss about BR's or your beliefs; this thread and the previous ones have nothing to do with that at all. I'm not even sure beliefs were mentioned. And yes, you sent me a private message - but you also made a public one. One that accused me of not understanding Tony's situation,. of giving "Tough Love", which you called BS, asking me to "cool it", that we should listen to his problems but not give advice...and so on. If you didn't want me to comment on that, then you should have deleted it. I find it totally ironic that in your private message you tell me that I'm not a counsellor and shouldn't be giving advice, and at the same time you feel qualified enough in that area to claim that tough love (which I wasn't giving anyway!) is bullsh*t! As you say neither of us are qualified, how exactly do you know?

While yes, we have had a number of very pleasant exchanges over the years, this is a clear example of you reading into a post something you want to read rather than what is actually there (eg. beliefs - what does that have to do with this or the previous thread!) - and then sitting down and responding to that in a long, convuluted stream of consciousness post that either comes across as lecturing or a rant. See the two posts you have given above. If people feel you are shouting at them for ten minutes when they read what you have written, then they will respond accordingly. Did you actually read my response to you, and why I was angry at your comments towards me? Or did you just jump on the last line and start typing (seemingly with steam coming out of your ears as you did so?) Everyone else seemed to understand what I was saying in that and my other posts!

Once again, you have left two rather bizarre, repetitive posts on the board to me, and then a quiet civil private message as well. But the rants are still here and are still public. So which am I likely to respond to?


Tony had made a comment about "shared beliefs" (with another member) and I thought people thought I was saying entirely different things in private. I thought maybe you thought the worst of me. That I had betrayed you (and others). And that was not so.

That's why I got upset. Yes; I read what you wrote; but I thought you were maybe thinking about the "beliefs" comment.

I know you were just trying to help.

Let's drop it, shall we? This was a misunderstanding.

rjm (those posts are gone now)

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I317 using Tapatalk 2
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Re: Taking A Leave Of Absence....

Wed Mar 20, 2013 11:59 pm

I don't understand a word of all that, but it's a feeling I get more and more on these boards!