Off Topic Messages

Re: Mental Health Issues: A Personal Post

Wed Apr 09, 2014 12:34 am

Great post PMP I don't know what went on as I don't come here that much now, due mainly to the infighting that was taking the fun out of this place.I'm glad that you know your condition inside out and that this allows you to plan your life so you can make allowances for it and make your day to day life as manageable as possible.
Like I Said ,great post and your honesty is commendable.

Re: Mental Health Issues: A Personal Post

Wed Apr 09, 2014 1:12 am

poormadpeter wrote:Yes. Your original post - let's discuss that, shall we?

I like the authoritative tone Shane, it suits you. Ok, let's.


poormadpeter wrote:
mike edwards66 wrote:Given recent events in the all elvis part of this board

JESUS Shane, you are such a drama queen. It's a few crazy Elvis fans playing verbal volleyball, not grounds for an intervention, chill.


poormadpeter wrote:Paragraph 1- there was no verbal volleyball. Austin has never set out to make an enemy of the doc, and yet he has been repeatedly accused by the Doc of somehow being a cheat, liar and fraud. Nothing in his original post prompted any games of any kind. His admission of Asperger's was also straightforward and to the point. What the Doc does with the people who attempt to take him on, and what he does with somebody who has no intentions of getting into a fight is something else entirely. His response was accusing Austin of lying, was venomous, and totally uncalled for. And, it should be added, follows hot on the heels of his belittling someone with poor eyesight last week, and the English of someone whose first language is not English. It takes two to play verbal volleyball - the Doc was playing verbal paintball against someone without a weapon and without realising they were a target. It was a cowardly move - and even more cowardly was his decision to then remove his posts and not apologise. I hope that answers your point.

I thought we were going to discuss my original post. Apart from your drowning in a sea of analogies, all I see is you discussing your perceived justification for the melodrama. Oh well, I can wait.


poormadpeter wrote:
mike edwards66 wrote:So I started going to work each day, assuming a bright and breezy cheerful persona for eight hours in order to stop all the questions, and then arrived home knackered each night because I had been putting in an eight hour acting performance of which Laurence Olivier would have been proud.

Well we ALL do that buddy, it's called 'life'. The mind follows the body, not the other way round. I think it was Shakespeare who said, 'Assume a virtue, if you have it not'. Assuming a 'bright and breezy cheerful persona' is more helpful, much more helpful, than accepting the label of victim.


poormadpeter wrote:Paragraph 2 - Your trivialising of my point was uncalled for and ridiculous. Of course everybody puts on a happy face from time to time, but being forced to do so, day in day out is something completely different. And the scale of what you are talking about and what I am talking about is completely different - and anyone with any sense would realise that (that seems to be everyone who read the thread except you). Sadly it's people like yourself who seem to believe that depression is a case of someone being "a little fed up" and who can "snap out of it" is half the reason why we're battling such prejudices in the first place. Your unwillingness to be educated about such a condition is sad, and only highlights that your constant Greek chorus-type posts seem to be because you have nothing pertinent to say yourself. No-one anywhere is suggesting that people with these issues are victims because of their condition - they are victims because of the intolerant and uneducated in society.

I thought we were going to discuss my original post, all I see is your associating words with me, that I did not utter. Why do you do this, is it for effect ? Oh well, I can wait.



mike edwards66 wrote:Anyhow, anyone who wants to discuss my original post, in it's unedited form, and in the CONTEXT of Shane's points, to which I was addressing, let's go.
poormadpeter wrote:Paragraph 3 - RJM’s post

You really don't do details, do you.


poormadpeter wrote:I hope that addresses your post as requested.

Not quite buddy, but I can wait :wink:

Re: Mental Health Issues: A Personal Post

Wed Apr 09, 2014 1:17 am

InheritTheWind wrote:Mental disabilities are no laughing matter. My own issues with social anxiety/extreme shyness caused me to drop out of the graduate program at U.C. Berkeley because I could no longer bear the pain of speaking in front of a large group of people. While people like mike edwards66 might say “Quit being a drama queen - Just get over it,”

I have never, and would never, say 'just get over it'.

The 'drama queen' comment was aimed at melodrama, not mental health.

I'm happy to clarify.

Re: Mental Health Issues: A Personal Post

Wed Apr 09, 2014 1:20 am

mike edwards66 wrote:
InheritTheWind wrote:Mental disabilities are no laughing matter. My own issues with social anxiety/extreme shyness caused me to drop out of the graduate program at U.C. Berkeley because I could no longer bear the pain of speaking in front of a large group of people. While people like mike edwards66 might say “Quit being a drama queen - Just get over it,”

I have never, and would never, say 'just get over it'.

The 'drama queen' comment was aimed at melodrama, not mental health.

I'm happy to clarify.


Thanks for clarifying. Good to know. That's why I wrote "might."
But you did call PMP a "drama queen." That's not very nice.

Re: Mental Health Issues: A Personal Post

Wed Apr 09, 2014 1:39 am

mike edwards66 wrote:
InheritTheWind wrote:Mental disabilities are no laughing matter. My own issues with social anxiety/extreme shyness caused me to drop out of the graduate program at U.C. Berkeley because I could no longer bear the pain of speaking in front of a large group of people. While people like mike edwards66 might say “Quit being a drama queen - Just get over it,”

I have never, and would never, say 'just get over it'.

The 'drama queen' comment was aimed at melodrama, not mental health.

I'm happy to clarify.


Don't try to worm your way out, Mike. Besides I'd rather be a drama queen than a bitter queen. :wink:

Re: Mental Health Issues: A Personal Post

Wed Apr 09, 2014 2:03 am

poormadpeter wrote: Besides I'd rather be a drama queen than a bitter queen. :wink:

I can't top that, goodnight :wink:

Re: Mental Health Issues: A Personal Post

Wed Apr 09, 2014 11:07 am

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Last edited by rjm on Sat Apr 12, 2014 6:27 am, edited 1 time in total.

Re: Mental Health Issues: A Personal Post

Wed Apr 09, 2014 11:41 am

rjm wrote:I see that Mike did NOT apologize to either one of us. Isn't that interesting?

Nothing to apologize for Robin. I made the intent of my comments to Shane perfectly clear, and you never asked.

Re: Mental Health Issues: A Personal Post

Wed Apr 09, 2014 11:55 am

rjm wrote:I see that Mike did NOT apologize to either one of us. Isn't that interesting?

It takes a real man or woman to do that, sometimes, particularly if they were embarrassed by the mistake to begin with. I'm not sure he is.

Did I miss something, because unlike John's apology to Austin (which I just saw; I hadn't read that thread), I don't see one here.

Yeah, man, I "lived" to tell about it, but this incident, for all intents and purposes, put an end to my university career. I crawled back in, yes, but the following semester I decided to just leave. I couldn't work in that woman's department! I briefly got a job at another campus, but it was not the same type of students, who I had I loved. So, I rather heedlessly decided to get out of the system. I opened my own "early college" program.

I didn't anticipate the Great Recession. My main donor went belly-up!

I have gone through one personal bankruptcy, and am possibly looking at another. (I fervently hope you will not share this beyond this forum! I beg you folks. It's all roses and daffodils on LinkedIn. But a big part of me did not "live" on past that horrible incident.)

Lord only knows what Shane has experienced. Clinical depression and bipolar disorder can be fatal. You, Mike, had no right in this world to trivialize his important stand on these matters, much less his condition. He called you what I wish I had the guts to. And until you get over yourself and apologize, that is what you'll remain.

I know it's harder for some people than for others to apologize, but we saw it in the other thread. You can do it, Mike: "it is not poison; you will not die." (A little Dylan grab there.)

And, BTW, Shane my friend, Austin said "apology accepted"! Fancy that! ;) (I'm just teasing, okay? I'm over it. You are also a "good guy," but you also have your moments. As do I.)

This is a relatively small community, and we all need to be sensitive to what we *don't* necessarily know about other members.

rjm

P.S. -- "Inherit": your posts are so sensitive and compassionate; they are so much appreciated. And I LOVE your avatar! Neil Tyson is the bomb! ;)

Sent via mobile


Austin is a better man than I. I would not have accepted an apology which actually attempts to blame other people. But that case is closed, so we should move on.

Re: Mental Health Issues: A Personal Post

Wed Apr 09, 2014 1:44 pm

Thank you for your honest post, pmp.

Re: Mental Health Issues: A Personal Post

Wed Apr 16, 2014 7:09 pm

poormadpeter wrote:Given recent events in the all elvis part of this board, I am reproducing here a recent post from my blog. It's primarily about issues in the workplace, but the message applies here too. Hopefully the right person/people might read it.

*

Someone said something interesting to me online a week or two ago. They said they thought that it was strange (I think that was a polite way of saying “stupid”) that I had mentioned in my blog and on my twitter feed that I have bipolar at a time when I was also looking for a job. It’s not something that had really crossed my mind until that point and, as you can see, the comment obviously hasn’t put me off talking about it again. What it did reiterate, however, was the public’s perception of mental health issues. I’ve already discussed this before in relation to depictions of mental health problems in film and TV – and, since that post, I have since seen the fourth series of Canadian cop show Rookie Blue, which really should be ashamed of itself in its depiction of someone with bipolar as an obsessive stalker who puts people’s lives at risks through her actions. We appear to take two steps forward but then one step back. (That said, I still have a soft spot for Rookie Blue).

Now, all of that isn’t to say that bipolar makes a career or a job an easy thing, and I’m the first to admit that choosing a profession carefully so that you can somehow accommodate your highs and lows is a priority. However, we don’t live in a time where people can pick and choose where they work or what they do. Six years after the banking crisis, a job is a job and many need to grab whatever they can find. Despite that, allowances need to be made and realism has to play a part because bipolar or depression or any other mental health condition is likely to cause issues at some point.

Let’s take, for an example, a job in an office in which the employee is expected sit at their desk and process 100 forms per day. The chances of me, with bipolar, being able to perform at the same level constantly day after day, week after week, is highly unlikely. By the very definition of the condition, one day might result in 200 forms being processed, and yet on another I might struggle to get 30 done. A daily deadline of this kind is therefore not really feasible; during a depressive phase everything I do is almost in slow motion. However, a weekly or monthly target is certainly possible. So, if instead of 100 forms a day, I was told I needed to 500 per week or 2000 per month, that would be fine, as I could make the most of the times when I was feeling OK and therefore give myself breathing space for when the inevitable down periods came along.

I’ve been studying for the best part of eight years, through my BA, MA and then PhD, but I did work full time for nine years before I started studying. I hope things have changed in the workplace since then, and there is more understanding of conditions such as bipolar and depression. I remember having a particularly bad spell back in 1998 and having some time off work because of it. Most colleagues tried to be understanding, although the truth is that they didn’t understand because people were less educated about these conditions back then. On my return to work, I was constantly asked if I was “OK”, and my line manager at the time told me my work needed to be checked thoroughly by her because of my “mental instability”. The truth was that my work was fine, it was just me who wasn’t. However, I got to the stage where I realised pretending I was fine was the way forward. So I started going to work each day, assuming a bright and breezy cheerful persona for eight hours in order to stop all the questions, and then arrived home knackered each night because I had been putting in an eight hour acting performance of which Laurence Olivier would have been proud.

As it happens, the coping mechanisms that many of us have in place after having these conditions for so long probably make us more reliable workers than many others. I knew I had to work around the bipolar while I was studying, and so would get coursework done a week or two in advance of the deadline in order to give myself a breathing space in case a bad patch came along. I did the same with my PhD, finishing it within the three year period and writing a 70,000 word novel alongside it. That’s not intended to be a boast, but a sign to potential employers reading this that we are as reliable as anyone else, and to those with the condition it’s a message that it can be worked around if we put out mind to it.

There are sh*t periods, though, and last week was one of them for me – probably the worst I have been for a couple of years. Luckily it was short-lived and I seem to be back to “normal” now. But, even then, the marking of essays still got done on time, and the seminar still got prepared and delivered in the same fashion as any other week. And no, I didn’t sit at the front of the seminar group rocking back and forth crying and screaming. At least, if I did, no-one mentioned it afterwards (I jest).

What I’m trying to say here is that the prejudices towards (and misinformation about) those with bipolar and other mental health issues still continue. Slowly but surely we are hearing of people who have turned their lives around and who are not only living a “normal” life but achieving more than many without the condition. Determination is a wonderful thing. Yes, allowances will have to be made at some point – not just by employers, but by friends and family too. Bipolar isn’t just a pain for the person who has it, but it can be a bastard for the people who have to live with it as well.

And attitudes are changing, especially among the young. The support amongst the younger generation on social media of campaigns to stamp out mental health stigma is staggering…and beautiful (and the same is true of campaigns to stamp out homophobia and bullying, too). And a difference is slowly but surely being made.

But there is a long way to go. If sufferers are going to do their best to live a normal life with their condition, then there needs to be more understanding (or, more accurately, flexibility) amongst employers as well. Just because mental health issues aren’t always visible doesn’t mean they don’t exist or that there shouldn’t be a certain degree of allowances made within the workplace to accommodate the various ups and downs that come with these conditions. We’re trying our best, and all that we ask for is that we are met halfway.


I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND YOU MATE - I SUFFER FROM SCHIZOPHRENIA - AND EVERYDAY LIFE IS VERY DIFFICULT