Off Topic Messages

Re: Joke Of The Day

Tue Feb 04, 2014 6:53 am

:smt003 :smt003

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Re: Joke Of The Day

Thu Feb 06, 2014 6:15 am

Now that's funny right there. :smt003 :smt003

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Re: Joke Of The Day

Thu Feb 06, 2014 2:55 pm

TCB-FAN wrote:Now that's funny right there. :smt003 :smt003

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Yeah, lol :D

Re: Joke Of The Day

Wed Feb 12, 2014 1:57 am

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Re: Joke Of The Day

Wed Feb 12, 2014 5:18 pm

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Re: Joke Of The Day

Wed Feb 12, 2014 11:49 pm

A man goes into a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!" The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye dog." "Oh man,” the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me." The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door. Another guy walks into the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a seeing-eye dog." The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!" The second man replies "This is my seeing-eye dog." The bartender says, "No, I don't think so. They do not have Chihuahuas as seeing-eye dogs." The man pauses for a half-second and replies "What??! They gave me a Chihuahua??!"

:smt005 :smt005 :smt005 :smt003 :smt003 :smt003

Re: Joke Of The Day

Tue Mar 25, 2014 3:24 am

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all the blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.

While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.

The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.

Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and detects the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.

He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is OK.

She replies, “Yes.”

He asks what she is doing.

She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.

He then asks her why she has on a ski jacket and a fur coat.

She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said, “For best results, put on two coats.”


:smt005 :smt005 :smt003 :smt003 :smt043 :smt043

Re: Joke Of The Day

Fri Mar 28, 2014 11:20 pm

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Re: Joke Of The Day

Mon Mar 31, 2014 5:13 pm

She screams "Get out of my house!" He moves to the door. She says "I hope you die a slow painful death!" He turns and says. "So now you want me to stay?"

Re: Joke Of The Day

Sun Apr 06, 2014 9:05 am

:mrgreen: :mrgreen:

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Re: Joke Of The Day

Sun Apr 06, 2014 9:10 am

TCB-FAN wrote::mrgreen: :mrgreen:

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Good one!

:smt003 :smt003 :smt003

Re: Joke Of The Day

Sun Apr 06, 2014 9:11 am

Mountain Misst wrote:
TCB-FAN wrote::mrgreen: :mrgreen:

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Good one!

:smt003 :smt003 :smt003



So true..lol

Re: Joke Of The Day

Sun Apr 06, 2014 9:16 am

:smt003

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Re: Joke Of The Day

Sun Apr 06, 2014 9:25 am

LOL, she should have slapped him right there, :smt003 :smt003 :smt003 :smt003 :smt003

:o :o :o

Re: Joke Of The Day

Tue Apr 15, 2014 7:38 am

Two guys are hiking in the forest when they suddenly come across a big Grizzly bear! The one guy takes off his hiking boots and puts on some running shoes!
His friend says to him "You're crazy! There's no use, do you know how fast Grizzlies are, you'll never be able to out run it!" and the guy says, "I only have to out run you!"

:smt005 :smt005 :smt005

Re: Joke Of The Day

Tue Apr 15, 2014 11:28 pm

Eight men have been at a mental hospital for a period of time and are being tested to find out how they are progressing in order for them to leave the institution. The doctor in charge takes them all into a room and with a ball pen draws a door on the wall and asks each one of the patients to try and open the door for him as part of the test. Seven of them rushed out and attempted to open the door on the wall. The doctor was disappointed with the results but never the less call on the last one who was still sitting down and asked him why didn’t he stand up and try to open the door with the others. The eighth man replied: “because I was holding the key to the door”

:smt003 :smt003 :smt003

Re: Joke Of The Day

Wed Apr 16, 2014 5:39 pm

i approached a lady walking down the street with her dog. I said "Man, that's the ugliest dog i've ever seen!" She replied "Really?" and i said "I was talking to the dog!" :smt005


I was singing in a club one night and in between songs i told the audience "Ladies and Gentlemen, i am pleased to announce that Dolly Parton is in the audience tonight sitting right in the back" The houselights came on and i was embarassed...it was two bald headed men sitting together! :smt005