Bill Clinton Virus v 1.0 - It has a six inch hard drive and no memory. Freezes entire system due to unresolved memory conflicts.
Bill Clinton Virus v 2.0 - It tells you it's executing any program you want, whether or not it's on your computer.
Bill Clinton Virus v 3.0 - Fills you with the compulsion to cut wasteful government spending at the same time that it compels you to hop into an airplane for a $200.00 haircut at taxpayer expense.
Bill Clinton Virus v 4.0 - Mutates from region to region and we're not exactly sure what it does.
Bill Clinton Virus v 5.0- Promises to give equal time to all processes- 50% to poor, slow processes; 50% to middle-class processes, and 50% to rich ones. This Virus protests your computer's involvement in other computer's affairs, even though it has been having one of its own for 12 years.
Bill Clinton virus v 6.0 - Automatically connects to every URL in your Internet browser's list of bookmarks, then it tells you emphatically that your computer never made any connections...to any URL...because since it didn't transmit and receive simultaneously, it wasn't really connected.
Apologies to Clinton fans