Off Topic Messages

Bill Maher Is Smart ... And Funny!

Fri Sep 16, 2005 11:30 am

Comedian Bill Maher closed last week's HBO program "Real Time" with the following:

Mr. President, this job can't be fun for you any more. There's no more money to spend -- you used up all of that. You can't start another war because you used up the army. And now, darn the luck, the rest of your term has become the Bush family nightmare: helping poor people.

Listen to your Mom. The cupboard's bare, the credit cards maxed out. No one's speaking to you. Mission accomplished.

Now it's time to do what you've always done best: lose interest and walk away. Like you did with your military service and the oil company and the baseball team. It's time. Time to move on and try the next fantasy job. How about cowboy or space man?

Now I know what you're saying: there's so many other things that you as President could involve yourself in. Please don't. I know, I know. There's a lot left to do. There's a war with Venezuela. Eliminating the sales tax on yachts. Turning the space program over to the church. And Social Security to Fannie Mae. Giving embryos the vote.

But, Sir, none of that is going to happen now. Why? Because you govern like Billy Joel drives. You've performed so poorly I'm surprised that you haven't given yourself a medal. You're a catastrophe that walks like a man.

Herbert Hoover was a shitty president, but even he never conceded an entire city to rising water and snakes. On your watch, we've lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four airliners, two trade centers, a piece of the Pentagon and the City of New Orleans. Maybe you're just not lucky.

I'm not saying you don't love this country. I'm just wondering how much worse it could be if you were on the other side.

So, yes, God does speak to you. What he is saying is: 'Take a hint.'

-----

DJC

Fri Sep 16, 2005 11:59 am

Ya know whats funnier?

2009

You've got 3 1/2 more years to deal with it. Will you survive?

:twisted:

Fri Sep 16, 2005 12:01 pm

scotch wrote:Will you survive?

A more appropriate question: will WE survive?

Hope you enjoyed the Powell link.

DJC

Fri Sep 16, 2005 12:49 pm

drjohncarpenter wrote:Hope you enjoyed the Powell link.
DJC

I actually did. It proved I was right to ask for the article, which was much different that what was "reported" on the board by your cohort.

Fri Sep 16, 2005 1:58 pm

Doc,
The scary thing is that maybe we won't survive! The surplus is gone; the elderly's social security is in jeopardy; their meds are taking their food money or their food is taking their med money; we are getting deeper and deeper and deeper into debt; our kids are being killed (Iraq), inflation is looming. My best friend (Catholic and Republican) thinks that the next thing is that older people will be relegated to a kind of "soylant green." I know that's not spelled right, but it's late and I have no time to look it up.

Scotch's observation that we have 3 l/2 more years of this is REALLY scary!
:shock: :roll:
sue

P.S. By the way, I do love Bill. He has such a succinct way about him and hits things right on the spot, although some on this board will DEFINITELY not agree with this!!

Fri Sep 16, 2005 2:06 pm

Doc -

Thanks for that !

But too much of it rings true to be funny.

And he didn't even mention global warming & pollution.

The leader of the country producing 25% of the planet's pollution says of global warming:

"Prove it"

Scientists are now concerned that the polar meltdown has passed the point of no return.

And Bush still turns a blind eye.....................

Fri Sep 16, 2005 3:38 pm

Anybody that quotes Bill Maher is a certified idiot.

As for the rest...the sky is falling..the sky is falling.

Do some actual research on Global Warming then come back to me and talk.

Fri Sep 16, 2005 3:52 pm

Yawn

Fri Sep 16, 2005 4:37 pm

Image

Fri Sep 16, 2005 7:03 pm

The Soylent Green issue brings up an interesting question. Who was better at saying, "Soylent Green is people, it's PEOPLE!", Charlton Heston of Phil Hartman?

I first heard the words spoken by Phil in the immortal skit on SNL, and then rented the movie. I must confess I believe Phil bested Charlton, but had the advantage of interpreting the original work.

I don't believe Bush would make food out of old people, he has to keep them around to keep buying overpriced drugs from the evil pharmaceutical industry, lol. But if you did make food out of old people, the ones who would eat it would probably be other old people. After all, it would be better than the dog food Bush forces them to eat now. :roll:

Fri Sep 16, 2005 7:30 pm

Hmmm..... as lunchtime approaches, I wonder... when making a Soylent sandwich, does one put mustard or mayo on Colin?

Fri Sep 16, 2005 7:32 pm

EagleUSA wrote:Hmmm..... as lunchtime approaches, I wonder... when making a Soylent sandwich, does one put mustard or mayo on Colin?


Rusty puts honey on him, but I think that's something different.

Tom

Fri Sep 16, 2005 7:40 pm

genesim wrote:Anybody that quotes Bill Maher is a certified idiot.

As for the rest...the sky is falling..the sky is falling.

Do some actual research on Global Warming then come back to me and talk.


I can love Bill's work, and sometimes hate it, but he's no idiot.
Talk about people in Glass Houses...:shock:

Anyway, you and Scotch got spoiled by the hands-off treatment the Pres
got all these years. Either that, or he was perfect ...until now.
Taking your lumps is part of being President, whether fair or not.
From what I can hear, some locals are quite peeved at themselves...
and the Mayor and Governor(s) too.

But you don't have to be a Bush-basher to see he botched this.
Let's hope he lives up to his speech.

We Americans have alot of heavy-lifting to do - and tax-cuts for the richest 1% is not going to help us get there. The budget
won't allow it. In fact, get ready for tax increases. Choosing
between Iraq and Dixie for budgetary reasons,
most Americans are going to say "Bye,
Bye, Baghdad." You're on your own. Americans First."

It should prove interesting.


Image

Fri Sep 16, 2005 11:50 pm

Anytimew I see a show that Bill Maher is going to be on, I make sure I don't see it. He's an idiot and he says that anyone who believe is Jesus Christ or God is a complete fool.
No wonder Larry King has him on so often. Two non-believers together for an hour.
Class "A" athiest. I've got no time for either of them.

jeff R

Sat Sep 17, 2005 12:55 am

Eagle -

You wrote:
I wonder... when making a Soylent sandwich, does one put mustard or mayo on Colin?
_________________


You wouldn't enjoy me.

My vegetarian diet has produced some real chewy bits.

Sat Sep 17, 2005 1:34 am

genesim wrote:Anybody that quotes Bill Maher is a certified idiot.

.


LOL. It is funny that the author of such gems in the Norway thread posts stuff like this.

Sat Sep 17, 2005 1:34 am

jeffreyjames wrote:Anytimew I see a show that Bill Maher is going to be on, I make sure I don't see it. He's an idiot and he says that anyone who believe is Jesus Christ or God is a complete fool.
No wonder Larry King has him on so often. Two non-believers together for an hour.
Class "A" athiest. I've got no time for either of them.

jeff R


Is it bad to be a non-believer?

Sat Sep 17, 2005 1:52 am

Spanish_Eyes wrote:Is it bad to be a non-believer?
Not if you are correct...
Pascal theorized the benefits of believing in God, even if it turned out there was no such deity, outweigh the negatives. Smart man.

Sat Sep 17, 2005 2:42 am

I can't get enough of Bill Maher's politicizing. It's as nifty as Ted Koppel's standup routine.

Sat Sep 17, 2005 5:59 am

jeffreyjames wrote:Anytime I see a show that Bill Maher is going to be on, I make sure I don't see it. He's an idiot and he says that anyone who believe is Jesus Christ or God is a complete fool.
No wonder Larry King has him on so often. Two non-believers together for an hour.
Class "A" athiest. I've got no time for either of them.

jeff R


That's one of my biggest beefs with him. Like George Carlin (an
obvious influence of Maher and also one of my long-time faves),
he has lately become more strident and angry.

Take a minority cause and he's for it. Why? Because most
people don't support it. Make everything upright upside down.
Everything you ever knew was wrong. This stance gets tiresome.

In particular,
the taking on of religion by the the two of them just gets to be
too much. I'm all for some inquiry and even doubt and even
a smart athesist, but these
two know-it-alls alienate their audience in ways that "comedians"
should think hard about. Maybe it's that they think they are now
"social critics" and "philosophers." A little entertainment, please.

That said, I appreciate that each "push the envelope." It's the reason
any society should have gadflies.

They seem too cyncal and angry
with life. (Not that all athiest are this way ,but these two betray that.)

Maher strikes me a very unsettled overgrown boy well into his
40s. He'd do well to try settling down - if he could. That and his apparent drug usage (Carlin's just out of wine and pill rehab) makes you question
what you're hearing. If Mahrer had kept his head (read: stay off
the marijana), he might still have a network TV show, as he
did begin to seem unbalanced.


That said, Mahrer's a very witty and sharp guy. I tune in when he's on.
Carlin was on MSNBC's IMUS in the MORNING Thursday for his
New York gigs upcoming. I wish him well in his
post-rehab comeback.

Sat Sep 17, 2005 6:50 am

I repeat....certified idiot. :wink:

Greg wrote:But you don't have to be a Bush-basher to see he botched this.
Let's hope he lives up to his speech.


How long are you going to bang this drum? My guess, eternity. Too bad there is no basis in fact and every characteristic of hate. Funny how no one has refuted the role of the governer, but has continued to lecture about it being "all Bush's fault". Same mentality that goes with it being "Bush's war".

People that think like that are either completely braindead, or have no clear understanding of American government...or both.

Sat Sep 17, 2005 9:22 am

Image[/quote]

All That I Am..I am...

Because of YOU...

Sun Sep 18, 2005 5:30 am

ColinB wrote:Doc -

Thanks for that !

But too much of it rings true to be funny.

And he didn't even mention global warming & pollution.

The leader of the country producing 25% of the planet's pollution says of global warming:

"Prove it"

Scientists are now concerned that the polar meltdown has passed the point of no return.

And Bush still turns a blind eye.....................


They actually did talk about global warming & pollution on Bill's show.

The best (and painfully truthful) comment made by Kurt Varnegat (sp?), a book author, was when he said "The human race is a cancer on Earth".

Rich

Sun Sep 18, 2005 6:07 am

genesim wrote:I repeat....certified idiot. :wink:

Greg wrote:But you don't have to be a Bush-basher to see he botched this.
Let's hope he lives up to his speech.


How long are you going to bang this drum? My guess, eternity. Too bad there is no basis in fact and every characteristic of hate. Funny how no one has refuted the role of the governer, but has continued to lecture about it being "all Bush's fault". Same mentality that goes with it being "Bush's war".

People that think like that are either completely braindead, or have no clear understanding of American government...or both.



How long are we going to bang the drum? As long as it takes. He f*cked up big time and he needs to be called out on it. How long did you Republicans bang the drum on the Monica Lewinsky thing? Not to mention spend millions of dollars on. All for no purpose. I don't think Bill Clinton getting his willy wet cost thousands of lives while an American city was destroyed. I'm sorry....but there is ABSOLUTELY NO REASON we should forget how bad Bush messed this up.

And as far as you talking about the Governor, Mayor, etc to blame. Yes, they should be blamed for what happened leading into that Monday. HOWEVER, from Monday (the night the hurricane hit) until that Friday when aid finally arrived...it was in the hands of the FEDERAL government and not the state. Once the area was declared a National Disaster Area (heard of this?) the situation went into the hands of the national government. See: Bush and Congress. And the President is supposed to set the agenda for Congress.

It's funny that the congress was flown in OVER NIGHT for that Schiavo bill...but New Orleans waited 5 days.

Absolutely disgusting.

Sun Sep 18, 2005 6:11 am

It's sad that "Genesim" can't disappassionately discuss the President's
current political plight, as well as the more important need to come
through as a leader in the years remaining in his second term. Not
everyone who discusses his recent dip in fortunes is "out to get him."

A solution for the rebuilding of New Orleans and the Gulf region
will require a comprehensive federal "czar" of sorts - precisely because
of the notoriously poor and corrupt leadership at local levels. I'm
actually rooting for the President to succeed. Why? I'm an American -
not a partisan blow-hard.

Stay in your bubble, Genesim. Again, it's very rich
for you of all people to go around declaring anyone
a"certified Idiot."

You are the most obnoxious person on this board, hands down.
Last edited by Gregory Nolan Jr. on Sun Sep 18, 2005 6:43 am, edited 1 time in total.