Fri Jun 24, 2005 10:05 am
A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu.
"I'm sorry sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer, I'll smell it and order from there."
A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile and picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man's table and hands it to him. The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath. "Ah, yes that's what I'll have, meatloaf and mashed potatoes."
Unbelievable, the owner says to himself as he walks towards the kitchen. The cook happens to be the owner's wife and he tells her what had just happened. The blind man eats his meal and leaves.
Several days later the blind man returns and the owner mistakingly brings him a menu again. "Sir, remember me? I'm the blind man."
"I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a dirty fork."
The owner again retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man. After another deep breath, the blind man says, "That smells great, I'll take the Macaroni and cheese with broccoli."
Once again walking away in disbelief, the owner things the blind man is screwing around with him and tells his wife that the next time the blind man comes in he's going to test him. The blind man eats and leaves.
He returns the following week, but this time the owner see's him coming and runs to the kitchen. He tells his wife, "Mary, rub this fork on your panties before I take it to the blind man." Mary complies and hands her husband the fork back.
As the blind man walks in and sits down, the owner is ready and waiting. "Good afternoon sir, this time I remembered you and I already have the fork ready for you."
The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff and says, "Hey! I didn't know that Mary worked here!"
Fri Jun 24, 2005 4:37 pm
A bloke buys one of those really fancy 4x4 vehicles, like a BMW X5 or something, and it has a voice activated stereo system. Taking it for its first drive, he says "I feel like some heavy rock" and the stereo starts playing a driving rock anthems station. Later on, he changes his mind and says "Now I feel like some classical music" and before you know it the stereo is blaring out some Beethoven. As he is listening intently to this, three kids come speeding round the corner and he swerves to avoid them, almost killing them all. "F***ing kids!" he yells.
The stereo starts playing Michael Jackson.
Sat Jun 25, 2005 11:41 am
One snake asks the other snake "Are we poisonous?"
The other snake says "Why do you ask?"
Says the first snake "Well, you just did bite in my lip."